During the pregnancy, I was reading the book I received in daddy boot camp, which I do recommend for any first time father to be. Daddy Boot Camp gives you some good things to think about as you prepare for this life changing event. So, right, the book. There was one chapter which was talking about how to encourage your partner during labor. One of the phrases really caught my attention, and I keep saying it over and over prior to the big day; “your body is doing its job wonderfully”. I thought that was completely hilarious, and so did she, but not quite as funny as I did. So in the spirit of making sure I had plenty of proper encouraging things to say during labor, I asked my friends to give me some hints. I handed out index cards and asked them to write the encouraging comment on one side and their name on the other. The idea was that we wouldn’t read the cards until labor. As fate would have it, labor progressed so fast, we didn’t have time to read the cards during labor. Eventually, after little Jago was born and the dust settled, we got the chance to read them and they were great! I wanted to share them here, in no particular order. Note: there were a few others, but they were political in nature. And while I rather enjoyed them, I am choosing to omit them.
Just think: If you were an elephant, you would still have ~13 months of pregnancy remaining. The gestational period of an elephant is 22 months.
Roses are Red, Violets are blue, who gives a crap about flowers, when will this pain be through?
A New Life Haiku: Constant wave of pain,
A focus women breathes –
New life says Hello
Do you think this will take long? Should I order a pizza?
Are you really planning on using that whole bed?
I’d hold your hand honey, but there’s a beer in mine.
Nurse, Oxygen, Stat!
How hard could this be? Sheep have lambs out in the fields all the time…
(sing this…) I’m a little teapot, short and stout, Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up I just shout, Tip me over and pour me out.